Being a mom

Dear Emma,
I miss you when your asleep. Your dad is at work and I'm awake, thinking about you.
I love the way you nuzzle your small body against mine. I love the smell of your hair as I kiss the top of your soft head. I love how fast you kick your little legs and wave your arms when you get excited. I love it when you crinkle up your nose and give me that gummy  almost toothless smile. I love the way you get bashful and hide your smiling face when you do something new and your dad and I hug you. I love how you cling on to me looking around as fast as you can, trying to take everything in, as we walk through the house doing chores. I love that when you hear a scary or loud sound you frantically grab onto either me or your dad and won't let go. That shows me we make you feel safe.  I Love how serene and beautiful you look as you sleep. I love how much you adore animals and other babies. You are caring, even at such a young age. I love those big hazel eyes that are framed by your dark long eyelashes that gaze up at me so often. They melt my heart every day. I love watching you give your dad those open mouth kisses on his face. I adore watching you two play and hearing you squeal and laugh. I love watching you fall asleep in my arms every night. i love watching you grow and learn every day.

I love you, my beautiful baby girl.

Love,

Your mom

Andy & I

My brother is going on a mission in less than a month! 

Who am I going to take hideous pictures with after he's gone?

Me and my bro!

Serious face

A force to be reckoned with haha

"crying" face

Scared face... Scary

Suprised

 Alycia made me promise not to put this on FB.
She failed to mention anything about blogging it!

Sad :(

Haha hideous

I have no idea what this one is all about. Strange.

Trying to be normal = fail.

Yup! He's one of my best pals!

Thanksgiving

One of my favorite holidays has come and gone. Thanksgiving was great!

We cooked, spent time with family, ate great food, played games, watched old home family videos..

The works!

This is a little bit of what Thanksgiving looks like at the Millward house...

Waiting for everyone to gather.

Emma didn't care about the food once she found a calculator.

My classy mom, carving the turkey!

My Italian chef of a father! Such a great cook!

Happy Birthday Hannah!

A couple days ago, November 23 to be exact, was my baby sisters birthday. 

She turned 8!

 She's choosing to be baptized in a couple of months, I'm so proud of her!

I remember when she was born. She had tons of long beautiful black hair. 

She's become a spunky go-getter who knows what she wants and doesn't want. 

Love her so much!

  And of course I had to take some pictures of my baby at the party. Hanging with her Daddy.

Squishy Chin

Emma has so many funny facial expressions. My personal favorite is the "squishy chin."
She gets so excited and her little body scrunches up in every way possible.
It happens when she hasn't seen one of us for awhile and we walk into the room. It happens when we play with her too. It's so fun.

 Normal face....

SQUISHY CHIIIN

Normal face....

 SQUISHY CHIIIIN

 Being tickled face...

SQUISHY CHIIIN

I love my little squishy chin girl.

Weight Loss

Well, I've been out of commission this week.
Tuesday night I caught a terrible cold. Sore achy body, congested head, coughing my lungs out, uncomfortable stomach, headache... the works. I didn't want to take any medication, either. I've just relied on tons of vitamin C, water and sleep. Emma and Ryan have been troopers. I'm feeling a lot better. Finally. But unfortunately....

I feel like I've hit a brick wall in weight loss.

Somehow I will find a way to break through that wall and lose those last 4 pounds.

Giving Thanks

It's that time of year again. The time that we celebrate like Pilgrims and give thanks for what we have.

I want to try to get Ryan more involved with this blog... I don't know how successful I will be. But I want to list the things I am grateful for (one for each day of the month) and then I want Ryan to come up with a list as well.

Here's mine for now.

1- The Gospel. I still remember the time in my life when the Gospel "clicked" in my mind. I  remember when I started going to church not because I had to but because I wanted to. I remember the time I started realizing what the sacrament really did represent. My testimony in Christ and His Atonement is stronger than ever. It has gotten me through some very rough times. I know that Heavenly Father loves me and answers my prayers. I am beginning to understand a deeper love, the love a parent has for their child. And that helps me put into perspective how Heavenly Father loves me. He sent us the gospel to guide us so that we can get back to Him safely. For that, I am eternally grateful.

2- I am thankful for my little family. The fact that I have a loving husband who has committed his life to me and our family is awesome. Having a daughter has changed my life. I love them. With these two by my side I can accomplish anything.

3- My big family. My parents, grandparents, siblings and in-laws. They mean the world to me. My parents have always shown me love, even through my terrible teenage years. My mom is always calling up just to check up on me. My siblings always want to visit. I love the fact that they are all my best friends, despite the fights and tough times we've had. I'm thankful for my little in law brothers. They have all stolen my heart, I see them as my own little brothers. I'm thankful that Ryan's parents raised him so well and helped him become who he is today.

4- A home that provides warmth, peace and happiness.

5- The temple. I believe the temple has brought many blessings in our lives. It also helps me keep an eternal perspective in this busy life.

6- Music. I have been involved in music my whole life. I learned how to play the violin in kindergarten. Later in life I learned a bunch of other instruments and I've recently found a joy in singing (not in public, however.)  Music has been such a huge part of my life and brings me happiness. It speaks to the soul.

7-Health and the ability to exercise and be active. Working out has become my "me time."  My time to just get away for an hour or so and focus on me. Something everyone needs.

8- Our "bare necessities."  ;) Toilet paper, toothbrush/toothpaste, chapstick, toilets, deodorant, clothes, ect. Most of which the pilgrims didn't have. I'm sure thankful I do!

9- Electricity and blankets! I am always so cold, seriously, all of the time. Without the little space heater I carry around all day and my blanket I would be an ice cube laying in a hospital with pneumonia and frostbite all over my body. Seriously.

10. My education and degree in nursing. I may not use it for money but I feel like I use it every day with my baby, family members, and even complete strangers. It has enabled me to help those in need.

11. Delicious food. Both healthy and unhealthy. Food is a passion of mine I have had to learn to control ;)

12. Our cat, Tia. She can be such an annoying terd but she has a sweet personality and has definitely become part of the family. Not to mention she can entertain Emma for longer than I can!

13. Medicine that cures horrible deadly illnesses like the cold I have right now!!!

14. The variety of seasons. (Even though winter lasts WAY to long in Rexburg..)

15. I am thankful for trials. They make me stronger as a person and my little family closer and more capable.

16. I am thankful for the country I live in. All I've been hearing lately are complaints. But honestly? We still have it pretty good.

17.  Life experiences. Both the good and most of (not all of them, however)  the bad.

18. Technology. Computers, phones, internet, Ipods... ect. They make life so much easier.

19. I am thankful for my FRIENDS! How lonely life would be without good friends. I love them! All of them!

20. I am thankful for humor. I love it when people can make me laugh and I enjoy making people around me laugh. And fortunately, I was blessed with my Dads sense of humor that can honestly get me through pretty much anything these days. Am I dorky because of it? No doubt. Do I care? Haaaa PSH heck no! ;)

21. I am thankful for holidays. They bring family together, I love it.

22. I am thankful that Ryan has a job. Without it I would be working or we would be bums on the street begging for a crust of bread. And I am not okay with that.

23. I am thankful that I grew up where I did. Good old Sugar City, ID. Where sweet things grow. ;)

24. My bed. I love it. It's so soft and warm and hard to leave in the morning.

25. Cleanliness. I hate disorganization and messiness. It drives me crazy.

26. Friendly strangers. There have been so many friendly people who have helped me out but didn't even know me. They have blessed my life and they don't even know it.

27. Cars. I really take our car for granted. It has been broken down the past couple weeks so I've had to walk and run everywhere I go. I wouldn't mind so much if it wasn't a frozen wasteland outside. I can't wait for it to be fixed.

28. Life! Life is great. I'm loving it!

Blog Sale

I am in the process of de-cluttering our home. I have thrown away a lot of things, and I am selling the things that are too good to be thrown out!

Check it out http://johnsonsale.blogspot.com/

I will negotiate price. Let me know! :)

Facts, statements, Confessions.. ME

Its one of those nights... Ryan's at work. The baby is asleep. Im exhausted but can't sleep. So I blog about myself...  Yeah. I wanna talk about number one. So sue me. ;)
Here are some facts about me!

1) I lose a lot of sleep. I often worry about Emma, so I go in and check on her. A lot.

2)  I am not perfect. I don't have a perfect background and I don't come from a perfect place. When I talk about my accomplishments I'm not trying to put on an heir of perfection. I will never be perfect. But I can sure as heck try to become successful and purposeful. Don't like it? Thats fine. Doesn't bother me.

3) whenever I eat pizza or French fries I use a napkin to dab the grease off. Not only because Im hoping to make it less calorie ha but its just habit. I've done this ever since I was little, always will.

4) I just want to be me. I don't want to be like anyone else. I hate it when people compare me, my baby, my family or anything affiliated with me to others. Hate. It. I do that enough on my own. Its not healthy. I don't need the world doing it too.

5)  I would be lost without the husband and baby. I love both of them with my whole heart. Or, for a more dramatic affect, with every fiber of my being. Ohh I love dramatic statements like that :)

6) I wish I was a Disney princess. Just for a day. I love singing, I love animals, I love dancing through forests (ok... Never actually done that, but I'm assuming it'd be an invigorating experience)
Bliss.

7) I never want to "let myself go" physically. Never. Because I know that I'd eventually be letting myself go emotionally, and then mentally would follow. And possibly spiritually after a while. It's a slippery slope, my friends.

8) I have major personality clashes with very cocky people. Am I cocky? At times perhaps... But people who are cocky all the time just for the sake of it drive me nuts.

There now. You know 8 things about me that you didn't before. Have a nice day!

6 months!

Exactly half a year ago, this moment, at 10:38 PM I was in labor.
 About to bring the absolute most precious treasure into our lives. I am so thankful for her sweet spirit and spunky personality. She has been such a blessing in our lives!

6 Month Progress

  

16.11 pounds -- 70% 

27.25 inches -- 91%

Her first bottom tooth has broken through the gums

Gets into EVERYTHING!

Can hold the crawling position

Sits up like a champ

Wakes up twice a night on average ( DaRn teething!)

Eating baby food easily now (about to be put on a schedule- we'll see how it goes)

Loves squash

Loves to snuggle and nurse before bed time

Wears 6-9 month clothing

Has a definite need for nap time. (Always wakes up new and improved!)

Still drools a lot
Doesn't like snow

Has a lot of blonde hair coming in (but still looks bald haha)

Has a need for being involved with what Ryan and I are doing

Being outside makes her happy

Still so sweet, just like she was on day 1!

Trying to crawl, and about to attempt to eat my shoe.

Taste testing the leaf. And everything else she can get her hands on.

Veggie Burgers

Okay, so once I was at Costco. They had free samples, and there were veggie burger patties.
Ever since then I have craved veggie burgers. I don't like eating a whole lot of hamburger so I thought this  could be a perfect substitute.
After about a year of procrastination I found a great recipe and made it for dinner yesterday.
They were great!  Even better served with a side of freshly cut baked sweet potato fries.
There are a few consequences, however, with eating these. They are silent but deadly... if you catch a wiff of what I'm saying. ;)

Here's the recipe from AllRecipes.com (GREAT site!)

Homemade Black Bean Veggie Burgers




1 (16 ounce) can black beans,

• drained and rinsed
• 1/2 onion, cut into wedges
  1/2 green bell pepper, cut into 2 inch pieces
• 3 cloves garlic, peeled
• 1 egg
  1 tablespoon chili powder
  1 tablespoon cumin
  1 teaspoon Thai chili sauce or hot sauce
  1/2 cup bread crumbs
  
  
  
  

1. If grilling, preheat an outdoor grill for high heat, and lightly oil a sheet of aluminum foil. If baking, preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C), and lightly oil a baking sheet.
2. In a medium bowl, mash black beans with a fork until thick and pasty.
3. In a food processor, finely chop bell pepper, onion, and garlic. Then stir into mashed beans.
4. In a small bowl, stir together egg, chili powder, cumin, and chili sauce.
5. Stir the egg mixture into the mashed beans. Mix in bread crumbs until the mixture is sticky and holds together. Divide mixture into four patties.
6. If grilling, place patties on foil, and grill about 8 minutes on each side. If baking, place patties on baking sheet, and bake about 10 minutes on each side.

Organization and Hallelujahs

I don't have a job outside of the home right now. In my eyes, my job is to take care of and raise our baby at this time.
There are a lot of other things I have kept busy with.
In fact, I feel like there's not enough time in the day after making meals, feeding/bathing/dressing (and re-dressing)/playing with the baby, going to the gym, cleaning the house, doing yard work when needed, grocery shopping, running other errands, spending time with Ryan, and random things that come up during the day.
For example, I can't seem to find time to play the flute, violin, or piano. All things I want to pick up again and stay good at. And the house is never as perfectly clean as I would like it to be. If I had endless amounts of time my house would be spotless.
I can't stand living in a mess.
I honestly don't notice if other peoples' homes are messy.
 It doesn't matter to me unless I have to live there.
So, that being said, I have picked up on multiple projects in my home. The more I am in my house the more I notice certain things that aren't convenient or organized properly. So I'm going through each room and finding problem areas and working on them.

By doing this I have reduced the amount of stress in my life, copiously . One thing that stresses me out is disorganization  Without organization I feel like everything is out of control. When that happens, I take control.

To show off my work I took before and after pictures :)



So. Here is my bathroom before. Usually the counters are clear, but I guess I wasn't on my A game that day and didn't clean up after myself. The shelves were what drove me crazy. With limited space I have to store all our bottles and my makeup ect on shelves. Such a MESS. Ugh, there had to be a better way...

 After. All it took were a couple of cheap $5 baskets from Ross and I had more space than I started with. It just gives you that "Ah, much better" feeling walking into the bathroom. Much more pleasant.

Next project. Still in the bathroom. But under the sink. It was a disaster area down there. It looked like a mini storm snuck under our sink and ravaged the whole thing. It was just embarrassing.

Before....

After....

Now, this one wasn't as simple. I bought these cheap (and on sale!) organizational drawers from Walmart, thinking they would conveniently stack on top of each other underneath the sink. They did, but because of the pipes they didn't fit properly. So I had to improvise and stack them how they would fit. Not as convenient but still, a lot better than before.

Now that the bathroom wasn't a hazard to my mental health I could move on to other things.

Like the closet in the hall. It started out as just a random mess of things thrown in there to pristine well thought out order. I even have a shelf for my craft basket. Ah, much better.

Before... YUCK!                                                                               After..... Can I get a hallelujah!

NEXT
 Emma's dresser. That thing was a mess to start with. I was going to school when preparing for Emma's arrival so all my organizational efforts went into school. Our home was neglected. So Emma's room has suffered. Her dresser especially.
Before...

Her bath drawer..Such a mess.

Her clothes drawer. I forgot to take a before picture. But it was bad. Just imagine this drawer being filled with cute baby clothes disastrously sprawled everywhere, but don't think about it too long. The pure disgustingness (yes, that is a word in my vocabulary) of it might give you an aneurysm. 

And here we have her accessory drawer. Such a stressful event trying to get her ready in the mornings! Not only because she doesn't like getting dressed but also because I had to wade through the depths of despair to get to anything..

AFTER!
Hallelujah's all around.

Her bath drawer.

Her clothes  and accessory drawers. No more aneurysms or despair for me today!

              

All it took was a packet of plastic dresser separators. What? I know, unbelievable what a couple dollars can do..

Cleanliness = happy faces.
 I stuck Emma in her sling so she could help. Gotta get the neurons in her brain that are in charge of cleaning connected so we can establish an early ability to clean! Ha.. if only it were that easy.

That's all I have done for now, but I have many projects to come.

• Our closet. Almost done, actually.
• Emma's closet. Yikes. Now THAT will be an interesting fete..
• Kitchen cabinets. I don't even want to think about that right now. I've already done a few though and it has cleared up so much space. 
• And our carport/ closet outside. 

Whew. I've got my work cut out for me. 

But once I'm done I will no longer be on the brink of insanity. ;) I need order. Control. Structure.

I'm well on my way.

Hallelujah.