Thankful

Thanksgiving has come and gone and the weekend is almost over. I'm thankful for my life, the people in it (near and far) and my Savior Jesus Christ and my Father in Heaven. Without them I would not have a life I love so very much. 

What a week.

The leftover dinner and pie is gone (BOO!!) and I feel like I've probably expanded my waist line a little. What can you do?

It's been nice having so much time with my love! We did some Black Friday shopping and then we went to Mocking Jay part 1 that night while my SIL watched my little baby that defies the need to sleep. Luckily Emma slept the whole time we were gone.

 It was nice finally getting out and going on a date without the girls. I walked out of the movie feeling slightly traumatized, but I guess that's what happens when the only other TV you watch is Curious George and Clifford.

Today we set up our Christmas decorations! Pictures will come eventually.

Here are our Thanksgiving pictures. Mostly just food we made before we headed over to the family's house.

Yeah this handsome young man cooks and he's good at it! I'm a lucky lady :)

Ryan's delicious apple pie. 

Sweet potato casserole 

My apple cheesecake 

Banana cream pie

We also made a green bean casserole. 

Yum.

Welp, it's time to go back living our normal day to day life... Which entails eating like a normal person once again. Bring it.

Me and my unimportant excellent life

Bear with me on this one.

I used to get horrible knots in my back in college. School was mentally and physically taxing. I loved it but my body did not. I'd get knots that would cause me constant discomfort and pain. They were always there, no matter how many times Ryan tried to rub them out.

Sure, I'd get busy during the day and kind of forget about it because I'd be thinking about other things. But once the day was done and things would settle down a little I'd start to feel it more. Sometimes it would get to the point where I'd lie in bed at night so uncomfortable that I'd just wait for morning so I could get busy again.

Well, I've been dealing with something similar, again.

Except it’s different. It's more of an emotional knot.

It's one of those things that has been continuously entering my thoughts and bringing me discomfort.

 I've been stuck in a rut.

There are times that I feel very unimportant. Somewhat unneeded. Replaceable. It's not a good feeling, so we won't delve too deeply into it.

A few years ago, during my high school years/ late teen years, I suffered with pretty serious depression. Again, we won't delve into it. It lasted couple of years. I got through it and I've never felt that horrible since.

 But a few weeks ago I began to worry that I was headed down that path once more.

 That scared me, I never want to deal with that again.

So I've been pondering on why I am important. Focusing on the positive instead of the negative.

I want to share a conclusion I came up with.

 Today, as I was walking through the crunchy leaves at the park with my two beautiful daughters, soaking in the sunshine, I realized something.

I'm not important to many people.

I'm not. And that's okay.

I am an average person. I am good at a few things but not excellent at much.

Again, that's okay.

I am not important to many people right now. But that's just right now. And just because I am not an important person, it doesn't mean I'm not doing important things.

All my time and my energy goes into doing one of the most important things I could possibly be doing. Raising good kids. Doing my best in making sure that they are kind, and good to their fellowmen. I'm exerting all of my effort into helping them become happy, successful and someday independent individuals who can live a fulfilling life. Someday they will be important to their own families and their lives will touch the lives of others and the goodness will be spread, like a ripple extending across a vast lake.

 I will have a hand in that.

 In that way, I will be important. I will touch the lives of many, many people through the things I am doing right now. Sometimes I wonder if our prophet President Monson's great grandmother, grandmother or mother ever had feelings of inadequacy and insignificance in what she was doing? All the important people now and throughout history have had people who supported who they were, who helped and guided them along their way. 

 I realize that I am important to my kids and husband. I am not only important, I am essential to them.

 Sometimes, I think about if I had chosen to go to work as a full time nurse. I'd see the importance of my life and the importance of my actions immediately, all day long.

I would be important.

But I would not be essential in that position. There are thousands of nurses out there who could place tracheotomy tubes, assist in blood transfusions and operations, and help patients with their needs. Someday I will experience that but right now I am focused on something I find more important.

There is only one person who can raise my kids with unconditional, unwavering love and care. There is one person who can be an eternal, loving and loyal companion to Ryan and have such a deep love for him.

It's me.

I may not be important to everyone but I am essential to my family. And right now, that knowledge is my fuel and keeps me going. I am completely happy and content with that.

Does any of that make sense? I feel like my heart just puked all over this blog and it's a mess of words and feelings. How's that for imagery? ;)

Anyways, just thought I'd share my little personal breakthrough.

And I just feel the need to add a little tidbit for those who are not in my situation.

Everyone is essential. Even if you’re not a parent. Or if your a parent who can't stay home with your kids. I realize there are so many different situations out there and I’m not saying my path is the only essential path. This is just me discovering my happiness and necessity in my own personal circumstance.

.

There isn't one specific essential way to this life. Everyone is essential in one way or another, because there is only one you and you’re the only one that can add goodness to this life in your own unique way.

 If you’re doing your best and choosing to touch lives in a positive, good way than you are essential to many people.

Okay, my heart is done puking chaos on here now, I'll stop!

Anyways, I’ll put my thanksgiving post up later on, I hope everyone has a most excellent Thanksgiving weekend!

It's the little things that make life wonderful

My days are so full of little moments that make my heart happy. So many funny, cute, sweet things that happen and sometimes, just sometimes, I'm lucky enough to get a picture of them. Rarely. However, here are a few lovely little moments I've been able to capture the last couple weeks.

Emma pulling T in the wagon while laughing so hard she couldn't walk straight. Man, she loves that cat, and I have to admit she's a pretty cool cat. Despite her annoyingness. She makes for some great entertainment for Emma.

Emma visiting Alex :) 

Emma giving AddiLyn kisses at the doctors office when I told her she was about to get her shots. 

Giggling and snuggling in bed one morning when I wasn't feeling well.

Reading books together. Emma was  teaching AddiLyn what everything is. First I read it and then Emma wanted a turn.

First time Emma fed AddiLyn. It was a hard day and way late, Ryan was working late and I hadn't eaten yet. Emma had eaten a little and then asked if she could feed Addi. So I got a chance to eat and watch my cute girls interact.

Emma and Mojo. She loves horses so much. First thing that happens when we get to grandpa and grandmas place, Ryan and her uncles take her out to see all the horses. Ryan and Emma had disappeared and I got this picture in a text message after looking for them. Its amazing how fearless she's become around these huge animals. 

Speaking of huge animals (and I mean that in the best way possible)... Ryan sometimes sends me his gym selfies. He likes it when I brag about him so Im sure he won't mind me putting this up here and declaring him the most handsome husband (and muscular, and attractive, and sweetest) in all the land.

Swinging at the park on a warm fall evening. We go to the park a lot but never stay very long. This time was a lot of fun, both girls were happy and we stayed there until the sun went down. Then we went home and made quiche while we watched Hercules (Emma's new favorite show) 

One of the many things I do to keep the girls entertained while I make dinner. Water, bubbles, and cups in the sink! Please excuse my cluttered counter. Sometimes decluttering temporarily gets cut out of the priority list.

Another thing I do to keep the girls entertained, put AddiLyn in a basket. Emma usually ends up pushing the basket around the kitchen yelling "weeee!" And AddiLyn giggling the whole time.

Hey you! Yeah you! I love November. You know why? Because you grow out your beard! And that makes me happy. Because I love your beard. Almost as much as I love you! (This is a picture Ryan sent to me from work. He's my handsome man.)

I was getting ready one morning and looked up to see this cute little reflection staring up and smiling at my reflection. How cute is that?

Emma pulled this off the rack at target and put this on herself. She ran around saying "I'm a princess! Princess Emma!"

Ryan took a vacuum to AddiLyns hair and her reaction was hilarious. She wasn't scared, just confused. Then she busted out the smiles.

Movie and popcorn one rainy day. This is one of Emma's favorite things to do and a good go-to activity on those days that just aren't working out how I planned. 

Building a temple for fhe.

Emma getting stuck in her truck and laughing about it. I was sure she'd get stressed out and start screaming but she just cracked up saying "I stuck!" 

Yep. Staring at each other and giggling about nothing in particular. Just happy to be together. My heart=happy.

Life is great!

6 months of AddiLyn

My little Addi cake is 6 months! She's such a sweet smiley happy baby! She loves meeting new people.

She loves her sister. Emma can get her to laugh easier than anyone else. They'll just sit together and giggle over nothing sometimes. 

She falls asleep best if she's being held. She's been waking up every hour each night but I blame the shots she just got. Usually she only wakes up every 3 hours. So yeah, she's not the best sleeper which has been hard but you would never guess that she's sleep deprived, she's such a happy little thing. 

She's starting to tolerate baby food better.

She still has that adorable gummy grin, no teeth to be seen yet!

When she gets hungry she goes "muh muh muh muh" over and Over. I love her little noises, sounds and facial expressions. 

She loves her dad so much, when he gets home from work and talks to her she kicks her legs and flaps her arms as fast as she possibly can while arching her back so that he will pick her up. It's adorable.

We love our sweet miss AddiLyn Mae!!

Family Pictures

We got proffesional family photos done for the first time. It was a rough day but I learned a lot and now know how to better prepare for next time. Luckily I still LOVE how these turned out. I love my sweet little family!!

House Update

This week I got much satisfaction out of letting two nice little Mexicans into my home and letting them rip out the last of the carpet left from the previous owners of this house. After we got the vents cleaned out there was still a funky smell in our room. Once the carpet was out of the house they had to sweep up the concrete that was under it, there was SO much dirt. SO gross. 

They hauled out that crusty nastiness and hauled in some soft, lovely carpet. I love it.

Ahh the smell of new carpet has never been so great!

 It's amazing the difference new flooring can make in a home. Its much more comfortable and the smell is gone. It smells like a normal, clean house. Finally. I can now put AddiLyn down on the floor without fearing for her health.  

This experience has me convinced that the next home we purchase has got to be brand spankin' new. No more of this fixing up stuff. Not that there's a problem with that, I know a lot of people who LOVE flipping houses. But I have found that it's not exactly my cup of tea.

However, now that it's done, I can officially say I LOVE my house. 

Next project: bathrooms.